Finally, as you move into the Perform stage, you begin to feel an increase in Comfort with Interdependence with your partners. You must learn to move away from being independent and begin to think as much about your partner’s success as your own. You must begin to consider consequences your decisions have on your partner and learn how to dance a tango in perfect rhythm—not an easy task for people who live in a culture that values its independence.
Partnering isn’t easy. In fact, it is probably the hardest work you’ll do. Moving effortlessly through the Stages of Relationship Development happens only in an ideal world with perfect human beings. But human beings aren’t perfect. I confess I’ve made many mistakes in my partnering efforts.
But I understand that if I want a good partnership, I need to work to be a good partner. Even the best blueprint for partnering—such as the Partnership Continuum model—cannot make up for a low PQ. The model works only as well as the people who are using it. And while using a blueprint is better than just letting your partnership evolve through happenstance, it is the individuals in the partnership who must have the skills to make it work.
